To Med or not to Med....

We are those parents who belabor every decision of support for our child, we take our job of helping to optimize his life experience seriously (some might say we obsess). Perhaps it is in part because we tried for many years to have our son; he is the gift we so wanted and we want to do it "right". In part, it is because we understand that if something appears like it is hard for him, it is even harder for him. It is also, because my husband experienced similarities growing up and he wants to bestow all the advantages he can on his child. One of our most significant parenting decisions thus far has been to pursue the path of medicating our child to relieve some of his adhd, sensory and aspie challenges.

In particular, it was "The Fever Effect" that helped us to first discover it. We noticed that he was pretty much neurotypically calm, present, focused and organized when he had a fever. Over time we learned to recognize that our child was so wired all the time that he had a hard time focusing and relaxing enough to be present and enjoy everyday life. We desperately wanted to help him.

We initially launched onto this path with our Naturopathic Pediatrician, who is an expert in differently wired kids. She is also a doctor and a biochemist, so her approach was combined science, experience and intuition based on our input. She ran tests that told us our kiddo was DOUBLE in all the neurotransmitters that generate excitement (like adrenaline!) -- no wonder he couldn't go to sleep and then woke up like a piece of popping corn every morning...at 4 am!

We tried a number of homeopathic supplements in hopes of triggering his body to balance out its neurotransmitters naturally, with mixed results. Each time we had a bit of success, we were very encouraged about what we saw in our child....and then discouraged when it didn't "stick" for him or work for long enough. But suffice it to say, once we saw signs of the clouds clearing a bit...we wouldn't let go of finding a way to achieve that for him.

We eventually reached the point where his Doctor told us we needed to consider expanding to pharmaceutical drugs if we wanted to make further progress, or that we needed to accept where he was. That was heavy news for us, as we had to overcome our discomfort with medicating him to move forward in helping him. We were afraid; some of this is a land of great black unknown for parents. Unknown effects, side effects, long term impacts, etc etc. We decided quality of life right now matters, even as a kid. Hindsight, I am so glad we went this route. So are his teachers and classmates...and so is our kiddo.

While medication has eased things for our son, and smoothed things out for the onlookers in our life, under the surface it is not a simple path. Kids are constantly changing and growing. Once the right doses are found....they can just as easily change. And when a dose or mediation needs to be changed, titration over time is the methodology. We'd learned that our kiddo was super dose sensitive. So much so, that even time release options didn't work because of the ramp up and down in his body. The trial and error process to find the right solution requires persistence, patience, empathy and love find the right medication time and place.

Lessons learned along the way:
1. Finding the dosage threshold: Many of the meds the doctors wanted to use are not made for smaller bodies. The available doses can be high, depending on the kid. We vowed never to drug our child to what we called 'zombie level'. We wanted to help our child be more of him, not disappear him. It can happen, it is so important to listen to your parent instincts (your Mommy Voice!) and communicate details to your doctor to get the appropriate dose.
2. Customizing the pills: Under a doctor's direction, doses can be completely customized. We order empty capsules and use a pharmaceutical type scale to make our kiddo's pills weekly. Not every child would require this level of detail. Due to our child's dose sentivities, this is the only way we can help him stabilize with his meds.
3. Observations: In order to determine if the dosage is right observations are critical. For example, My son is triggered by visual and sound stimuli. So at times, he is pretty different in our quiet home than in the classroom. Additionally, when he was young his ability to give us any specific verbal feedback was limited. I also found the the feedback I got from teachers was not specific enough. Fortunately, I was able to arrange to view my son in school at different times of the day and different activities to assess the changes in his meds.
4. Finding the right medication: Sometimes it takes more than one medication. We've found that balancing more than one medication has been the right mix for our kiddo. Again, lots of patience to to titrate each change combination up or down over time.
5. Practitioners: Seems like we always balanced a couple to help us with this process. Between a developmental pediatrician and the aforementioned naturopath. You need people who can be nimble and responsive to the changes you see in your child.

Now that we are on the path, we constantly belabor when changes need to be made in his meds, and how to get it right. It is a big responsibility and there are times when it is both vexing and sapping, especially when there is not a right answer. That said, the relief it has provided our son has made it so very worth step.